The Emergence of Simone I never thought I would have a child. Even as a young girl I would tell my parents and friends that I was never having children. And I meant it. Right up until the moment when the pregnancy test said positive…
Spring 2009. The circumstances of my pregnancy were far from ideal. The father wasn’t in the picture, my family lived miles away, and my friends lived in every major city but this one. I was alone, scared, and pretty sure I had no idea what I was doing.
My first call to the doctor proved me right. Where and with whom did I want to deliver? Oh. I would have to call back. A quick search online and a hasty decision was made- I would deliver with the midwives in my ob/gyn’s office. Appointment made, I went about my life as usual, only now tired and pregnant.
The next few months would prove to be challenging. Family members and friends expressed their disappointment and clear disagreement with my choice to keep the pregnancy, something I was not prepared for nor equipped to deal with (oh, pregnancy hormones!). Embarrassment and doubt over my situation began to creep into my own mind with each centimeter my belly crept out. By the end of summer I no doubt was down-right depressed. I still had no idea what I was doing.
As the leaves of fall began to turn, so did things with me. My friend and future birthing partner, Sean, flew in from Brazil and we began attending birth classes together. I was beginning to feel that things might be okay. On the second day of class, however, we toured the birthing center where I had planned to give birth. The environment, while more relaxed than a hospital delivery room, was not at all what I had pictured. Upon leaving the class, I fell apart. Having an ‘ideal’ birth was the one thing I had managed to still hold onto. When I closed my eyes and envisioned it, it was warm, homey, welcoming, and filled with love and openness. Not filled with nurses and hospital machines. I wanted a home birth.
Sean, without my saying a word, must have sensed this. He found Motherland Midwifery’s website and encouraged me to just look at it. I did. Two days later I decided it was worth a call. I’m SO glad I did. It was the warmth I needed for the impending winter…
Not only did Christy provide me with a feeling of kindness and acceptance, she made me excited about having a child. I hadn’t given any thought to how I might raise my daughter, hadn’t thought about much beyond ‘oh my goodness I’m having a baby’. The love of the process, the love of the mother and child oozed out of Christy. It was intoxicating. I began to get excited about the baby growing inside me and the possibilities that lay ahead.
Christy asked a lot of questions. She knew more about my pregnancy in one visit than the other midwives had after 35 weeks of care. She had suggestions for pre-birth, post-birth. She had a library of dvd’s and books, websites, and even list-serves to support the progression into motherhood. She gave advice and encouragement that I very much needed. I began to soften.
And gain strength. My mom was very verbal about her disapproval of my choice for a homebirth. Concerned for my safety, she offered the same objections that I’d met with countless others. Homebirth ain’t for everybody, but I knew it was for me. We’d done all the homework, weighed the risks, and were confident that we could do it the old-fashioned way with guidance from Christy.
Finally, the time was upon us. After days of pre-labor contractions, I was not progressing. Sean and I were frustrated and tired. This being our first pregnancy, and first encounter with natural childbirth, our lack of experience was wearing away my confidence. I feared we’d have to go to the hospital to induce labor. My mom was on her way into town, and thus adding pressure to the situation. We called Christy, told her what we were thinking, and asked her to come over. Christy arrived to a scene full of worry and discontent, but her patience was enough to soothe us through one more rough night. We decided to postpone our surrender until the next day.
As it turned out, the wait was a short one. My mom arrived as labor began to progress before midnight. Christy returned, and labor continued smoothly until the next morning, when we welcomed my daughter, Simone Anais into this world. She was beautiful, healthy, and strong. And born into a room surrounded by warmth, openness, and love while outside the flurries of the season’s first blizzard touched down. Christy, Meredith, Sean, and even my Mom had helped me realize my dream of giving birth.
I’ve grown so much in the last year, through pregnancy, birth, and now 3 months of motherhood. I have come to fully embrace my new role, and this new life with which I’ve been blessed. The decision to give birth naturally at home opened a door to my motherly intuition that I know will guide me through the journey ahead. Thanks to all of those who made it happen!
Deanne Allegro
P.S. I’ve even heard that my mom actually thought the whole experience was ‘cool’ and brags about being there to her friends.